3 powerful steps to silence your inner critic

My inner critic becomes my constant companion when I’m on the verge of taking a new and positive step in my life. She shouts things like, “You’re not worthy. Who do you think you are to want this? You’re never going to make that happen, so give up now sucker.” Yeah- my inner critic can be a bit of a mean girl.

And if you’re a human being, she’s been your companion at some time. However, the inner critic, she’s not you. She’s not who you are at your inner most core. She’s your fear rearing her head to keep you stuck in place, a way to play it safe, to not take a chance to grow and discover your strength and wisdom.

Change, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessFebruary 25, 2021Kismet Coachinginner crtic, how to silence your inner critic, stop listenting to that inner critic, impostor syndromwComment

Your Checklist for the Most Loving Valentine's Day (even if you're single)

Yep, I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s.

The reason?

For years, (okay total honesty, it was decades) I looked for love in all the wrong places. I looked to others for my worth and lovability. I depended on someone else to tell me that I’m beautiful, amazing, and desirable.

Sound familiar?

The reason Valentine’s can be a big fat disappointment is that you put your dreams and happiness for the day into someone else’s hands. It’s time to make things happen for you and not to you.

Happiness, Love, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessFebruary 11, 2021Kismet CoachingBest Valentines Day, Valentines Day checklist for self love, Valentines checklist, Best Valentines for singlesComment

5 Steps to breaking the 'me last' cycle

For decades, my life occurred in the 10 minutes of the day that existed between everyone else’s schedule, agenda, needs and demand. I lamented that I didn’t really have a life- I was so caught up in making sure everyone else’s life was meeting their own expectations, and to do this I put everyone’s needs first and mine were a very, very distant last. You’d need the Hubble Telescope to even see them lagging behind.

Change, Healthy Boundaries, Personal Growth, self esteem and worth, stressKirstin BarsnessFebruary 4, 2021Kismet Coachingput yourself first, quit putting yourself last, quit living your life for othersComment

A powerful tool to develop a loving relationship with your body

Do you spend time cataloging everything that isn’t perfect about your body? Every wrinkle, extra freckle, your weird big toe, the way the razor doesn’t leave your underarm silky smooth?

Your body image is intertwined with your sense of worth. A thread that’s unbreakable- it can either be a cage or wings. The choice is yours.

self esteem and worth, Poetry, health & wellness, HappinessKirstin BarsnessJanuary 14, 2021Kismet Coachingself esteem, changing negative body talk, embracing your body, how to love your bodyComment

The key to lasting change

I thought I had my stuff together. That after years of doing some really hard work and excavating old wounds and bringing to the light all that needed to be healed, I’d finally arrived at the promise land. A place where old fears never visited, and I would skip along my merry way singing Dancing Queen.

Instead I fell into a trap with tears streaming down my face.

I so want to be part of the cool kids.

Personal Growth, Change, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessOctober 1, 2020making a change, how to change your life, how to heal a relationship, how to quit a habitComment

How choosing to divorce was choosing to live my life

The fear of staying was so much greater than the fear of leaving. I wanted me back. I wanted to know what loving me felt like. I wanted to live a life full of purpose. I wanted to re-discover who I was and to embrace that girl in a warm, safe hug.

Happiness, health & wellness, Gratitude, Healthy Boundaries, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessAugust 20, 2020Kismet CoachingDivorce like a Diva, Choosing DivorceComment

5 ways to bust your bad mood

As much as I relish being petulant and wallowing in a bad mood (there’s a bit of power there fueled by the negativity). I also know staying too long in the land of Oscar the Grouch can do some serious damage to my relationships, my self esteem, and my outlook.

I’ve discovered 5 way to bust a bad mood and return to the land of sunshine and light, or at least the place where a few rays can break through the gloom and light the path out.

health & wellness, Personal Growth, self esteem and worth, stressKirstin BarsnessAugust 13, 2020Kismet Coachingbust a bad mood, bad mood' change a bad mood, what to do when you're crabbyComment

What to do when you've been triggered.

The funny thing about triggers is that we never know when one might set us off, but we certainly know when we’ve been triggered. There’s a frustration and helplessness as a more basic instinctual response rises up. And we’re left reeling from a flood of lower emotions that leave us feeling disoriented, ashamed, and extremely vulnerable.

A trigger is the Universe’s way of telling us we have an unhealed story.

Fear, Personal Growth, self esteem and worth, stressKirstin BarsnessJune 25, 2020Kismet Coachinghow to heal an old wound, how to heal and old story, how to let go of your anger, how to heal you triggers, you've been triggered. Now what?, How to get past an explosive situationComment

3 Steps to getting what you want

There’s this underlying current of thinking that many of us suffer from. We think if we ask for what we want, we are being selfish, not selfless. Hundreds of years of conditioning, especially for women, has taught us to subjugate our needs and wants. It’s getting over this hurdle, that is the hardest.

health & wellness, Healthy Boundaries, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessMay 7, 2020Kismet Coachinghow to ask for what you need, 3 steps to getting what you want, how to get what you want, how to askComment

Six ways to ground yourself when you feel vulnerable

I needed to feel safe. I needed to breathe. I needed to set back the clock five minutes, so I could once again be ignorant, clueless, and blissful.

Vulnerability sucks. There’s an exposure that is so personal, like your insides are set out in front of others for them to pick through, discarding the parts that are unworthy.

Fear, health & wellness, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessApril 9, 2020Kismet Coachingvulnerability, how to deal with vulnerability, how to stop feeling vulnerableComment

Six steps to making a positive change.

Funny isn’t it how we become accustomed to and accept things into our life?

Gradually, and sometimes without our permission, our lives morph. Many times, the change is normal and healthy such as when your child leaves for college, but what about when those times when your acceptance of the life your living is unhealthy?

health & wellness, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessMarch 5, 2020Kismet Coachinghow to change, how tomake a positive change, steps to making a change in you life, how to change your lifeComment

Redefining selfish - why it's a good thing

Why does the word selfish get such a bum rap?

Why is it undesirable or even considered a bit ugly to think about yourself? Your feelings, wants, and desires? How else are you going to know what you really want your life to be?

I’ve redefined selfish.