Your Checklist for the Most Loving Valentine's Day (even if you're single)

Valentine’s day has left a sour taste in my mouth for years.  I love the idea of a day dedicated to showing others how much we love and appreciate them.  I hate that I put so much stock into what I get, who I’m with and will they come through with a totally romantic gesture that rivals something from my favorite romcoms.

Yep, I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s.

The reason?

For years, (okay total honesty, it was decades) I looked for love in all the wrong places.  I looked to others for my worth and lovability. I depended on someone else to tell me that I’m beautiful, amazing, and desirable.

Sound familiar?

The reason Valentine’s can be a big fat disappointment is that you put your dreams and happiness for the day into someone else’s hands.  It’s time to make things happen for you and not to you. 

Here’s my checklist for the most loving Valentine’s Day ever, even if like me, you’re single.  After all it’s a day about love, whether your coupled or not. And even if you’re in an amazing relationship and your partner really gets you, you there are ways improve upon the day.

• Have the right attitude.  If you think Valentine’s sucks.  Guess what? It will, just by the fact that you’re putting negative energy out there about the day.  Shift your thinking and your feelings.  Try starting the day with this mantra, “I am open to Love today.”

• Say what you want.  To your partner, your family, your friends – put it out there.  I find the words ‘surprise me’ to be the worst in a any relationship.  Your idea of a surprise could be a romantic dinner by candlelight and your partner may be thinking it’s the latest Avenger’s movie.

• Figure out how you want to feel.  Do you want to feel cherished and adored or do you want to laugh uproariously, or be adventurous?  Once you know how you want to feel, make your plans. 

• Love up those you care about.  Make the day about them and not you.  Show them you care by calling or better yet, write them a letter and list all the things you love about them.  You can even write a love letter to yourself and then open it next Valentine’s Day.

• Give a thoughtful gift.  Put some energy into a gift that speaks to your loved one’s soul.  Go beyond the cliché and find something unique.  Then double down and buy yourself a gift.  It’s one way to guarantee you’ll get something you love.  A little token of self- love.

• Take time to nurture yourself.  A bit of self-love goes a long way. After all Valentine’s is about showing those you love how much you care, and you should be on your own list of loved ones.  Take a bubble bath surrounded by candles, hike through the woods, spend time in your favorite store, or grab your favorite drink and read. Whisper ‘I love you’ to your reflection in the mirror.

• Be grateful.  Make a list of how love shows up for you, every single day, and why you’re grateful for it.  This is the fastest way to feel the love in your heart expand.  Reflecting on what you have, shows you how much you’re loved and valued.

• Affirm your own worth.  No one, and I mean no one, except you can determine your value. On Valentine’s Day (and every one that follows) use an affirmation as a reminder of how absolutely, positively, amazing you are!  Some of my favorites are I am beautiful, I am love, I am amazing, I am worthy, I am enough.

Following this checklist will set you up to have the most loving Valentine’s Day.  A reminder for you to focus on what’s important, showing your love for others (even self-love), and not the Valentine’s trimmings of flowers, candy, and dinner.

Allow love to move through you and out into the world.  And you’ll discover that every day is Valentine’s.