Posts in Personal Growth
One easy and painless step to living a better life
One easy and painless step to living a better life

Sacrifice can be healthy.

I never thought about it this way until Dr. Robert Holden penned these words in his weekly newsletter. He was talking about Lent, the ritual of giving up something for the weeks proceeding Easter, and how most of us choose to sacrifice things we really don’t want to give up such as chocolate, alcohol, caffeine, etc. He pointed out that most people fail at this commitment because they’re trying to give up something they really don’t want to and will just go back to eating or doing the day after Easter.

Instead, he suggests that Lent should be a time to look at what’s not working in your life. And that to change your life, you have to be willing to sacrifice what isn’t working for something better. I want better, don’t you? Better sounds great, thrilling, and much more enticing than being stuck.

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Change, health & wellness, Personal GrowthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachinghealthy sacrifices, lving a better life, how to surrender, making a change for the betterComment
3 powerful steps to silence your inner critic
3 powerful steps to silence your inner critic

My inner critic becomes my constant companion when I’m on the verge of taking a new and positive step in my life. She shouts things like, “You’re not worthy. Who do you think you are to want this? You’re never going to make that happen, so give up now sucker.” Yeah- my inner critic can be a bit of a mean girl.

And if you’re a human being, she’s been your companion at some time. However, the inner critic, she’s not you. She’s not who you are at your inner most core. She’s your fear rearing her head to keep you stuck in place, a way to play it safe, to not take a chance to grow and discover your strength and wisdom.

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Change, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachinginner crtic, how to silence your inner critic, stop listenting to that inner critic, impostor syndromwComment
5 Steps to breaking the 'me last' cycle
5 Steps to breaking the 'me last' cycle

For decades, my life occurred in the 10 minutes of the day that existed between everyone else’s schedule, agenda, needs and demand. I lamented that I didn’t really have a life- I was so caught up in making sure everyone else’s life was meeting their own expectations, and to do this I put everyone’s needs first and mine were a very, very distant last. You’d need the Hubble Telescope to even see them lagging behind.

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Change, Healthy Boundaries, Personal Growth, self esteem and worth, stressKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingput yourself first, quit putting yourself last, quit living your life for othersComment
Being stuck is not a permanent condition- 4 powerful steps to free yourself
Being stuck is not a permanent condition- 4 powerful steps to free yourself

In the journey of every woman, there comes a time when she feels stuck. It’s inertia couple with fear. A sense that you’ll be stuck in place, experiencing the same feelings over and over again, and you can’t see an escape route. You’re immobilized, a bit panicky, and just want it all to go away.

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Change, Fear, health & wellness, Personal Growth, stressKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingwhat to do when you feel stuck, how do get yourself unstuck, what to do when fear has ahold of you, stuck in your life? here's the cureComment
5 powerful steps for letting go of tension (open yourself up to change)
5 powerful steps for letting go of tension (open yourself up to change)

That’s the thing about change, you can say I’m going to do this- tackle it all at once. But the truth is that if you hit it with a bomb, you don’t get to experience the journey and the lessons waiting for you. You miss out on the excavation, the discovery, and the joy of progress.

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Change, health & wellness, Personal Growth, stressKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingwhat to do when you're too tense, how to beat stresss, how to make a change in your life, what to do when you're body is too tight, how to let goComment
The key to lasting change
The key to lasting change

I thought I had my stuff together. That after years of doing some really hard work and excavating old wounds and bringing to the light all that needed to be healed, I’d finally arrived at the promise land. A place where old fears never visited, and I would skip along my merry way singing Dancing Queen.

Instead I fell into a trap with tears streaming down my face.

I so want to be part of the cool kids.

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Personal Growth, Change, self esteem and worthKirstin Barsnessmaking a change, how to change your life, how to heal a relationship, how to quit a habitComment
How choosing to divorce was choosing to live my life
How choosing to divorce was choosing to live my life

The fear of staying was so much greater than the fear of leaving. I wanted me back. I wanted to know what loving me felt like. I wanted to live a life full of purpose. I wanted to re-discover who I was and to embrace that girl in a warm, safe hug.

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Happiness, health & wellness, Gratitude, Healthy Boundaries, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessKismet CoachingDivorce like a Diva, Choosing DivorceComment
5 ways to bust your bad mood
5 ways to bust your bad mood

As much as I relish being petulant and wallowing in a bad mood (there’s a bit of power there fueled by the negativity). I also know staying too long in the land of Oscar the Grouch can do some serious damage to my relationships, my self esteem, and my outlook.

I’ve discovered 5 way to bust a bad mood and return to the land of sunshine and light, or at least the place where a few rays can break through the gloom and light the path out.

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health & wellness, Personal Growth, self esteem and worth, stressKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingbust a bad mood, bad mood' change a bad mood, what to do when you're crabbyComment
Finding fun when work has sucked you in
Finding fun when work has sucked you in

Tunnel vision had taken over and lately I’ve lost a piece of myself in the process.

Have you ever had that happen? Where you become so focused on a goal or project, that you forget what it’s like to just live, and god forbid…play a little?

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health & wellness, Personal Growth, stressKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingwork life balance, how to get unstuck, when work sucks you in, what to do when you're working too hard, how to have fun, fun versus workComment
What to do when you've been triggered.
What to do when you've been triggered.

The funny thing about triggers is that we never know when one might set us off, but we certainly know when we’ve been triggered. There’s a frustration and helplessness as a more basic instinctual response rises up. And we’re left reeling from a flood of lower emotions that leave us feeling disoriented, ashamed, and extremely vulnerable.

A trigger is the Universe’s way of telling us we have an unhealed story.

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Fear, Personal Growth, self esteem and worth, stressKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachinghow to heal an old wound, how to heal and old story, how to let go of your anger, how to heal you triggers, you've been triggered. Now what?, How to get past an explosive situationComment
What your discomfort is trying to tell you
What your discomfort is trying to tell you

After the accident, I felt like I was stuck, missing my purpose, and that there was something more I was destined to accomplish in my time on this big, beautiful planet. I spent two years, trying to find my way to the surface, feeling overwhelmed, fearful, and not recognizing my life.

What I didn’t know at the time, was that all the discomfort was a result of my own spiritual growth. My skin felt itchy, like it didn’t fit any more. Which was true. I’d outgrown some old beliefs and was struggling to figure out my new way of living.

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Fear, health & wellness, Miracles, Personal GrowthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingwhat it means when your uncomfortable, what it means when you feel stuck, how to grow through your discomfortComment
How to change the way you look at things
How to change the way you look at things

Unintentionally, I’ve made my world smaller. I’ve become a bit too entrenched in my own opinions and ideas. There’s less room in my mind and heart for alternatives.

My thinking and attitude are “I know what I know and there’s no point in looking at it another way.”

What I want? To rediscover my inner pirate, gypsy queen, diva rockstar, and Charlie’s Angel.

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Personal GrowthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingchange how you look at the world, letting go, change how you look at things, shift your perspectiveComment
Turning a mistake into an opportunity
Turning a mistake into an opportunity

Mistakes have this uncanny ability to suck us in – into our worse selves. We fixate on what we did wrong, obsessing on what the outcome should have been. I’ll fess up and admit there’s been times when I’ve let a mistake hijack my day or even a week.

What’s being missed is the opportunity.

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Personal GrowthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachinghow to turn a mistake into an opportunity, your mistakes don't define you, no such thing as a mistake, what to do if you make a mistakeComment
3 Steps to getting what you want
3 Steps to getting what you want

There’s this underlying current of thinking that many of us suffer from. We think if we ask for what we want, we are being selfish, not selfless. Hundreds of years of conditioning, especially for women, has taught us to subjugate our needs and wants. It’s getting over this hurdle, that is the hardest.

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health & wellness, Healthy Boundaries, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachinghow to ask for what you need, 3 steps to getting what you want, how to get what you want, how to askComment
Six ways to ground yourself when you feel vulnerable
Six ways to ground yourself when you feel vulnerable

I needed to feel safe. I needed to breathe. I needed to set back the clock five minutes, so I could once again be ignorant, clueless, and blissful.

Vulnerability sucks. There’s an exposure that is so personal, like your insides are set out in front of others for them to pick through, discarding the parts that are unworthy.

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Fear, health & wellness, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachingvulnerability, how to deal with vulnerability, how to stop feeling vulnerableComment
Six steps to making a positive change.
Six steps to making a positive change.

Funny isn’t it how we become accustomed to and accept things into our life?

Gradually, and sometimes without our permission, our lives morph. Many times, the change is normal and healthy such as when your child leaves for college, but what about when those times when your acceptance of the life your living is unhealthy?

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health & wellness, Personal Growth, self esteem and worthKirstin BarsnessKismet Coachinghow to change, how tomake a positive change, steps to making a change in you life, how to change your lifeComment