Six ways to ground yourself when you feel vulnerable
There were spots in front of my eyes and a tightening in my chest. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, not enough air was coming into my chest and I felt dizzy, a bit nauseated, and the adrenalin was wreaking havoc with my body.
I needed to feel safe. I needed to breathe. I needed to set back the clock five minutes, so I could once again be ignorant, clueless, and blissful.
Vulnerability sucks. There’s an exposure that is so personal, like your insides are set out in front of others for them to pick through, discarding the parts that are unworthy.
As I sat on my bed, fighting back panic and tears, all I could think about is that my accountant was seeing my fears all trickle up from where they’d been long ago buried. Gone was the sleek professional, rising was the terrified failure, the one whose last business blew up with the 2008 recession.
All this triggered by the fact that I had made too much money and owed taxes.
Words like Sub Chapter S Corporation, SEP Plans, Profit and Loss statements, and payroll deductions brought back a flood of emotions.
I’d been happily running along as a sole proprietor and then this past year all the hard work I’d done around self worth, abundance, and acceptance paid off. And it manifested in more income, which is what I wanted, but it also manifested the need to move towards more complex business practices. I been there- done that, and had it implode.
I know what the lesson is here for me.
The Universe is allowing me to grow my business practices, so I can be ready and manage more shifts. That doesn’t change the fact that I feel vulnerable and a bit scared. It means, that I need to get comfortable with my vulnerability and embrace it.
The first thing I did was sit with it.
Huddles on my bed, I let all the emotions wash over me and welcomed them back like the long lost friends. ‘Hello fear, hello self doubt, hello anxiety. Welcome back. Let’s get comfortable while I figure out why you’re all here again.’
Sitting with your emotions and not judging them, releases them. Ignoring your emotions and feelings, pushing them down. only postpones the inevitable eruption of them back into your life by a future trigger, say a conversation with your well meaning accountant 12 years later.
After I figured out why they re-emerged, I shifted their appearance from a negative to a positive. Instead of my mind running wild with “OMG- I can’t become a corporation, that so tanked for me last time resulting in a bankruptcy and destruction of my self esteem.” I shifted it to “OMG- I’ve arrived. Everything I’m doing is paying off and the Universe is helping me take baby steps, so that when my business grows even larger, I’m ready and more prepared. I’m being given a chance to learn the skills I need for my success.”
Don’t be disillusioned and think this shift happen in a blink of an eye. Nope it was a heartbreaking couple of hours as I grappled with it. And took a few more for me to actually believe it!
Believe me, the shift felt so much better in my body. My breathing returned to normal and my shoulders finally dropped from my ears. Sweet relief.
I’ve discovered that I can be present with my vulnerability, when I’m grounded.
Like a reed. If my roots are strong and deep, I can move with the wind, bending and not breaking.
There are different ways I ground myself. Depending on the circumstance, my energy, and the intensity of my feelings, I pick and choose from my go-to moves.
I stick with my rituals- every day. Even when life is blissful and serene, I practice my daily rituals, because I’m building up my spiritual muscle for when it all hits the fan.
Meditation is queen of all for me. Before I even look at my computer, my phone and emails, any news or even talk to anyone, including Perri- I set my day up with meditation. I plop myself into my sacred spot (the couch) and my mind, body and spirit all sigh with joy because all of me knows what’s next. Meditation brings me to the present and keep the past firmly locked behind me and calms any fears about the future
I connect with nature. When I’m feeling squirrely, not myself or exposed I get Perri’s lease and we go soak up some Earth energy. Walking settles my nerves, oxygenates my body, and allows my spirit to relax and just bask in the sounds and smells of the birds, the plants, and the beat of my heart. I’m grounded immediately.
Tea. I was just going to type tea and be done, but a bit of explanation may help. It’s the sacred act of brewing, steeping, and savoring a cuppa. Infusing my body with natural herbs is both nourishing and nurturing.
Gratitude. I may not be ready to be grateful for the lesson my vulnerable state is trying to teach me, but there’s always something I can be grateful for: my daughters, my sweet dog Perri’s morning kisses, my friends, my big soaking tub, the smell of bacon…
Prayer. Not the take this away and bury it some place where it will never hurt me again kind of missive. But a simple “Please support me and show me how to move through this. Thank you.”
Vulnerability may suck, but it’s also your greatest teacher.
It shows you your strengths, your courage, and your lessons. It inspires you to grow and evolve into the person you’re meant to be, and it reveals the gifts that you bring to the world.
Next time you’re feeling all spun up and wiped out, with your vulnerability hanging out, don’t run away. Sit with it. Explore it. Embrace it.