One easy and painless step to living a better life

Sacrifice can be healthy.

I never thought about it this way until Dr. Robert Holden penned these words in his weekly newsletter. He was talking about Lent, the ritual of giving up something for the weeks proceeding Easter, and how most of us choose to sacrifice things we really don’t want to give up such as chocolate, alcohol, caffeine, etc. He pointed out that most people fail at this commitment because they’re trying to give up something they really don’t want to and will just go back to eating or doing the day after Easter.

Instead, he suggests that Lent should be a time to look at what’s not working in your life. And that to change your life, you have to be willing to sacrifice what isn’t working for something better. I want better, don’t you? Better sounds great, thrilling, and much more enticing than being stuck.

You're never lost: 3 simple questions to re-connect to the TRUE you.

Living an authentic life, tuned into who you are, keeps you grounded and protects against ever being lost again. Knowing yourself is the foundation for building soulful relationships, experiencing a rewarding career, and discovering how the Universe has your back every day. You can release worry, set healthy boundaries, and flow through life with ease. All because you know and accept who you are.

Kirstin BarsnessMarch 4, 2021Kismet CoachingComment

3 powerful steps to silence your inner critic

My inner critic becomes my constant companion when I’m on the verge of taking a new and positive step in my life. She shouts things like, “You’re not worthy. Who do you think you are to want this? You’re never going to make that happen, so give up now sucker.” Yeah- my inner critic can be a bit of a mean girl.

And if you’re a human being, she’s been your companion at some time. However, the inner critic, she’s not you. She’s not who you are at your inner most core. She’s your fear rearing her head to keep you stuck in place, a way to play it safe, to not take a chance to grow and discover your strength and wisdom.

Your Checklist for the Most Loving Valentine's Day (even if you're single)

Yep, I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s.

The reason?

For years, (okay total honesty, it was decades) I looked for love in all the wrong places. I looked to others for my worth and lovability. I depended on someone else to tell me that I’m beautiful, amazing, and desirable.

Sound familiar?

The reason Valentine’s can be a big fat disappointment is that you put your dreams and happiness for the day into someone else’s hands. It’s time to make things happen for you and not to you.

5 Steps to breaking the 'me last' cycle

For decades, my life occurred in the 10 minutes of the day that existed between everyone else’s schedule, agenda, needs and demand. I lamented that I didn’t really have a life- I was so caught up in making sure everyone else’s life was meeting their own expectations, and to do this I put everyone’s needs first and mine were a very, very distant last. You’d need the Hubble Telescope to even see them lagging behind.

Being stuck is not a permanent condition- 4 powerful steps to free yourself

In the journey of every woman, there comes a time when she feels stuck. It’s inertia couple with fear. A sense that you’ll be stuck in place, experiencing the same feelings over and over again, and you can’t see an escape route. You’re immobilized, a bit panicky, and just want it all to go away.

8 things the pandemic can't steal from you

It’s been 10 months.

That’s a long time.

I miss warm hugs, not having to worry if my mask is with me, and meeting friends for coffee – where I want and when I want.

I’m tired of hearing the fear in my mom’s voice, sitting in my home office chair for hours on end, and talking about the virus.

I’m sick of the frigging pandemic. But I’m not going to let it steal from me. I’m not going to let it define my any piece of my life. Yes- I want it done and gone, but I know it will leave an imprint.

Here’s my list of things COVID-19 can’t steal away from me.

A powerful tool to develop a loving relationship with your body

Do you spend time cataloging everything that isn’t perfect about your body? Every wrinkle, extra freckle, your weird big toe, the way the razor doesn’t leave your underarm silky smooth?

Your body image is intertwined with your sense of worth. A thread that’s unbreakable- it can either be a cage or wings. The choice is yours.

A new year intention tromps the tired, worn out resolution

I know there’s power in making a list- I’m the classic list maker and I’m just as guilty and admit to the small thrill that races up my spine when I see all the boxes checked. But this is not living, this is just organization.

Your life is about being, not doing.

There’s no trophy at the end, for the woman who did it all. There may be other rewards such as exhaustion, frustration, and the sense that you missed the point of it all.

There’s a better way. A more purposeful and fulfilling way to manifest the life you want. One full of connection, meaning, and a sense of awe.

A Holiday Meditation that is rocking around your Christmas Tree

As I settle in to meditate, a thought gift floated in. I call them thought gifts, because I know I can’t think this stuff up, so it has to come from the Divine. A tree meditation. What an incredible idea…now how the heck to I do that?

Gratitude, Rituals, stressKirstin BarsnessDecember 3, 2020Kismet CoachingChristmas Traditiona, Holiday help, GratitudeComment

Finding comfort in an uncertain world

No one likes to think of themselves as a grown up, we all still want to be that little girl, who found solace and love with her blanket. But we do grow up and the world around us is still uncertain and a bit un-nerving.

5 powerful steps for letting go of tension (open yourself up to change)

That’s the thing about change, you can say I’m going to do this- tackle it all at once. But the truth is that if you hit it with a bomb, you don’t get to experience the journey and the lessons waiting for you. You miss out on the excavation, the discovery, and the joy of progress.

How to hold the space when someone you love is hurting

Nothing makes your own heart weep, then hearing someone you love struggling.

You want to swoop in, snatch them up and wrap them up in bubble wrap until the storm has passed. But you can’t. All you can do is hold the space and allow them to feel, grow, and hopefully emerge stronger in the knowledge that they can do it.

Taking the first step toward your dream or shutting down the voice that says "you can't"

It’s no wonder that when we try to make a change, chase a dream, or live a more beautiful life, we fall short. Our inner cheerleader is a real Debbie downer and with that kind of support, why even try? Because if you don’t try, how will you ever know? How will you know what your life could be- all the glorious possibilities that are just waiting to be discovered?

Playing safe gets you... unfulfilled. It keeps you wondering if there’s a truer, more beautiful life waiting for you. Living in the shallow end, scared to even move, is a limited life.

Try this instead.

Kirstin BarsnessOctober 8, 2020Kismet CoachingComment

The key to lasting change

I thought I had my stuff together. That after years of doing some really hard work and excavating old wounds and bringing to the light all that needed to be healed, I’d finally arrived at the promise land. A place where old fears never visited, and I would skip along my merry way singing Dancing Queen.

Instead I fell into a trap with tears streaming down my face.

I so want to be part of the cool kids.

My inner poet erupts- Embracing the season of change

Fall always inspires in me a time to reflect and discover what’s working and what needs to go. This poem reminds me that the life I deserve is available- all I need to do is to trust and move with the flow.

Love, Personal Growth, PoetryKirstin BarsnessSeptember 24, 2020Kismet Coachingembracing change, poems of Fall, authenticityComment

The Pig Vs. Picasso- lessons for taking a leap of faith

I was thinking about this yesterday as Perri and crunched down our path, the leaves beneath our feet. Why the Pig? What is it about the Pig that draws everyone in?

I believe it’s because we all relate to the Pig.

How choosing to divorce was choosing to live my life

The fear of staying was so much greater than the fear of leaving. I wanted me back. I wanted to know what loving me felt like. I wanted to live a life full of purpose. I wanted to re-discover who I was and to embrace that girl in a warm, safe hug.

5 ways to bust your bad mood

As much as I relish being petulant and wallowing in a bad mood (there’s a bit of power there fueled by the negativity). I also know staying too long in the land of Oscar the Grouch can do some serious damage to my relationships, my self esteem, and my outlook.

I’ve discovered 5 way to bust a bad mood and return to the land of sunshine and light, or at least the place where a few rays can break through the gloom and light the path out.

Finding fun when work has sucked you in

Tunnel vision had taken over and lately I’ve lost a piece of myself in the process.

Have you ever had that happen? Where you become so focused on a goal or project, that you forget what it’s like to just live, and god forbid…play a little?