How to get out of a dark place
I tend to freak myself out. More often then I should ever admit. I find myself being sucked down the rabbit hole- and it’s literally all in my head.
Do you ever so this?
Spiral yourself into a tizzy, because you’re feeling insecure, unsafe or imagining that all the monsters lurking under the bed are going to slink out and swallow you up?
We all have triggers. Those thoughts that cause us to feel panicky, queasy, and anxious. They usually appear when we’re trying to control every aspect of our life and failing miserably: We need money, our child is struggling, our job is sucking the life out of us, the love we want is absent or being withheld.
Our minds take over and our bodies follow along like obedient toddlers, until we’re stuck in a vicious circle of our making. I’m not painting a very pretty picture here- it’s more of a living nightmare.
The thing is- you and I have the power to change our realities. We don’t need to stay in the drama, the loneliness, the fear. We can choose differently. It takes practice, but hell’s bells it really does work.
But sometimes I forget. And so, do you.
Recently, I was having a mini meltdown about money. This is my trigger and being self employed makes it more of a challenge for me. I get sucked into the story that I won’t have enough- to pay my bills, put food on the table, retire, pay for college. All the big ticket items looming large in my mind plus the piddly crap like filling the car with gas, buying Valentine’s cards, and hmmm…money for dog treats?
I was in a self induced panic attack and trying my best not to self destruct. And the kicker is this- I know better. I’m supposed to be this awesome a life coach, but alas, I’m also human.
The truth that I’ve been living by for the last few years is this:
Your thoughts create your beliefs that generate the emotions that manifest your life.
So, I called myself on my own thought producing bull sh**.
It was time for a shift.
First, I grabbed my journal and favorite pen- the one with the ink that flows like silk. I knew my shift had to be around my money story, so I wrote at the top of the page ‘Things I’ve manifested in my life’ and then listed everything and every time money had showed up in my life as I needed it. On my list was: the funds to fix the boiler in my first house when it fizzled with the first cold of Fall, the $9,000 I needed to pay my taxes after my divorce, the money to pay for Wicked tickets for my daughter’s 16th birthday, and many, many, many more instances where I had been supported.
It was an embarrassment of riches. How could I’ve forgotten all of this?
In my heart, I know that I’m safe and supported. I’ve never been destitute and without. I always have what I need, when I need it. It’s when my head doesn’t let my heart butt into the conversation, that trouble happens, and my fear emotions stage a coup.
When I finished my list, I could feel the shift. My body hummed and the top of my head felt expansive, which is how I know I’m aligned with my inner self. I thanked the Divine for always having my back and fell asleep, filled with a sense of deep relief.
Within 24 hours I had two new projects for work. (picture Kirstin’ doing her happy dance)
By shifting my thoughts and emotional energy, I made room for the miracles to happen. I declared to the Universe and all that would listen- I’m willing to be a better receiver. I know I’ve been supported in the past and will be supported in the present. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’m always delighted when these things happen and you bet, I gave a heartfelt thank you to the Divine.
Next time you’re not feeling it, supported, loved, or safe, take a page from my journal. Shift your focus on how you’ve been supported in the past, look for ways that love has shown up for you, and take note of how many times you’ve been kept safe. Breathe and lean into those experiences and remember that same energy is available to you now.