You're never too old to be comforted
Lying next to him, I notice that he was looking a bit worse for wear. Not as firm as he used to be, flattened by years of me manhandling him in my sleep. His eyes, a deep penetrating black, now were lighter, a bit more vacant.
I gazed fondly into his sweet face and thought about all the years he’s brought me so much joy and comfort. He’s absorbed my tears and I haven’t spent a night apart from him for over 15 years. My constant companion and friend.
My steadfast and ever loving, black stuff sheep.
Yes, I sleep with a stuff animal, but he’s so much more than that. He’s the keeper of my secrets and my great comforter.
His name is…wait for it… Sheep.
I bought him in Chicago 15 years ago when I had hit a rough patch. He was sitting in a Pendleton Store and as he looked down from his perch, my heart open and I just had to have him. His loving face, his squat little body, and his radiant personality. I snatched him up and he easily relocated to suburban Minnesota, not missing the hustle and bustle of Chicago.
Sheep was with me through my Chronic Lyme, when I was essentially bed ridden for 3 years. My daughters would play in my bed and Sheep would be the focus of all our stories. Here’s a few things you need to know:
· He’s allergic to every food that starts with the letter ‘B’, although, like the rest of us, he can’t stay away from those forbidden foods, even though they give him the most noxious, eye watering gas.
· Sheep sneaks out of bed at night and throws raucous parties with the household pets and other stuffies.
· He’s terrible with small appliances and is always forgetting to put the lid on the blender.
· Sheep has ninja moves that blow your mind, you wouldn’t think he’s has it in him considering this short legs and plump body.
He entertained my daughters when they were little for hours, connecting us in a magical world. Sheep’s the number one thing they’re going to fight over when I die. True- both girls have pulled me aside to ask for him in my will. Although, by that time, all that may be left is a piece of his ear.
Why am I pontificating of the attributes of Sheep?
Because everyone in their life needs to be comforted.
There are times when we simply feel adrift, the unknown so overwhelming that we seek the familiar, people and things that makes us feel safe, secure and supported. Just by their presence, we once again feel anchored and rooted.
Plus, I want you to know it’s okay to publicly admit you’re a grown woman who sleeps with a stuffed sheep.
If you’re like me, you want to leave that place of uncertainty and discomfort as fast as you can. But burying your head in the sand, just makes the feeling persist.
What you can do is ride the wave of uncertainty out. Letting it wash over you, but not overtake you. That’s when your life raft, those things and people that bring you comfort, is vital.
If you’re feeling anxious, stress, fearful or overwhelmed reach for your Sheep, whatever that maybe for you. Stay away from caffeine, drugs, alcohol, or gambling as ways to self soothe. The solace these things offer is a slippery slope and is often fleeting, leaving you feeling worse.
Instead find those things that have meaning to you such as your dad’s old sweatshirt, that reminds you of his love and strength. Or an afghan knitted by a friend in your favorite shades of blue. Or a hot cup of tea in your favorite Eeyore mug (one of my go to comforters).
When we were little, we all had a favorite lovey- a blanket, doll, toy, or stuffed animal that our parents had to pry from our hands to wash and if we misplace it, we’d feel so heartbroken. This little piece contained great love, joy and peace for us. It represented security and safety when we couldn’t be scooped up into loving arms.
I encourage you to find that piece of love for your life today. Because every once in a while, you need a hero who can’t eat a blueberry, has stealth ninja moves, and forgets the lid on the blender when making margarita’s for his friends.
Share with me your favorite comfort thing. Leave me a message in the comments below.