Your most important love affair

This is my season of love.

I woke up and decided I was done.  I’ve reached the point where I’m ready to wash my hands of the single life and be open to some heaping spoonful’s of LOVE.  For the past few years, I’ve been on a path to clear out all the yucky stuff that has weighed me down.  The heavy crap that took up residence in my heart and soul: low self-esteem, piss poor boundaries, my tyrant inner critic, and other people’s  unwanted opinions.  All the dark and murky glop that’s been clogging up my mojo.

It was a purposeful choice.

Not to leave one relationship, my 20 plus year marriage, and dive immediately dive into another.  The first one went kaboom and I wanted the next one not to follow the same explosive path.  I wanted to learn what went wrong, what my role was in it, and what needed to change within me, so that I could be ready for a healthy and loving relationship with an awesome guy.

You don’t need to know the ugly details.  It was a slog of hard work, but I can tell you that I’ve arrived.  Vibrant, confident, and clear.  I know who I am and I love me.  It’s the best feeling in the world because I know that the next relationship I have will be one where I won’t disappear and shrivel up, but flourish and soar.

I’ve learned the secret.

Before you can love someone else -you MUST love yourself FIRST. 

You need to be strong in your own truth and not depend on someone else to be strong for you.  You must be authentic because if you show up any other way, then your living a lie and any relationship built on a lie is headed for the crapper.

Given my newfound knowledge, that I must love me first and best, I’m doing and experiment.  Instead of concentrating on a new romantic relationship, I’m focusing on bring more love into my life.

How can you bring more love into your life?  By loving yourself even more.

Each day I perform one act of love.  For me, by me.  I do it intentionally with awareness and tenderness. Focusing on small acts of love that make me feel joyful, cherished, special, and valued.  My hope’s that all these small acts open my heart up to receive more love.

It’s the simple things like using the cute little sloth tea infuser in my mug or fresh, clean sheets on the bed.  A bouquet of carnations I bought myself or using those fancy bath salts I’ve been saving for a “special occasion”.  Burning the candles that have been hidden away in my armoire and committing to those 30 minutes on my meditation pillow – every single day, because I know when I start my day out in meditation it blooms and when I don’t, more often it fizzles.

Sounds great, right?  But I know myself and consistency isn’t my strength. Why is it that we let ourselves off the hook so easily? Why is it so hard to stick to a plan or goal?

I get all hot and bothered with a new idea and then it slowly ebbs away until it’s sitting in a pile of could’ve beens on the floor near my desk. Luckily, I’ve a brilliant friend who asked for an accountability buddy, someone to encourage and support her and yes, keep her on track as she charges toward her own transformation goals.  (When she asked, I jumped in with a hearty YES)

This time I’m not letting my own tendency to procrastinate, or my fear of the unknown, get in my way.  The stakes are too high.  I’m ready for love and I’m worth loving.  I’m taking this commitment to the next level. 

Each day on Instagram I’m posting a picture of my one loving act.  I’m calling out my own bull crap by publicly documenting my journey.  This is scary and I’m feeling a bit exposed, but the gain is so tremendous.  I’d love for you to join me.  Commit to one loving act for you by you.  Let’s see where this takes us- what kind of abundance flows into our worlds.  You can do this privately or publicly by using the hashtag #onelovingact, regardless pour a little sunshine on you this year and see what happens!