I’m exhausted and I feel just off, like I’m here, but I’m not. Everything is muted and my capacity to feel is diminished, like a thin shadow has settled over me, stifling my senses.

Yesterday, I was chatting with a friend about how she’s managing during the pandemic and heard my feelings echoed in her words. She wasn’t feeling quite herself; her moods would shift quickly, and she felt like she’s been walking in quicksand. And she’s not the only one. So many of my friends have been experiencing lethargy, sadness, tiredness, and a general sense of malaise.

That’s when the lightbulb came on, and just like in a cartoon, I felt the little pop above my head and I thought ‘a-ha.’

It’s grief.

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