Why don't you celebrate- You?

Kool and the Gang is on reverb in my head. 

When I close my eyes, I see my middle school self, rocking out in my room as America’s TOP 40 counts down, hair brush mic and my prairie style shirt the height of fashion.  All I wanted was to “Celebrate good times…come on!”  I never did out grow those dance moves from the 80’s.

What I did out grow was celebrating just for the joy of it.

Being festive and carefree was vanquished, only allowed out at the holidays and birthdays, like the crazy aunt that smells like licorice and moth balls.  I lost the connection.
When did my desire to “bring the good times and the laughter too” ebb away?

As a child, my parents were very careful not to ever brag about the daughters. Drawing attention to ourselves was verboten, and It was considered humbler to focus on other people.  Tooting your own horn wasn’t something good midwestern girls did, so I never learned how.  As an adult, this came to bite me in the bum, especially in job interviews where a little self promotion is accepted and encouraged.  Today I still dread the questions “What’s new with you?”  I get a little nauseated and look for nearest exit.

Given my history, I was dumbstruck when a dear friend asked me how I was going to celebrate the launch of my new life coaching business.  I’m certain I looked like a gaping fish as I pondered this terrifying question.  It never occurred to me to celebrate my success, the achievement of a goal, or the completion of a project.  My mind was blown.

My default setting has been to focus on how I’ve screwed up. 

I spend time agonizing over mistakes I’ve made and reliving past situations trying to figure out how I could’ve done better.  It’s my weaknesses that hold center stage, not my strengths. 
Even when I’ve worked my bum off to accomplish a new goal, I don’t relish the moment.  Though I toiled many hours, at the end, I’m so relieved that I just cross the accomplishment off my to do list with not even a backwards glance.  It’s a wham bam, move on to the next item. Begin the cycle again.

The thought of celebrating was a reprieve.

I realized that by not acknowledging what I had achieved, I was devaluing myself.  It was a revelation.  I wanted to “come to together” and be asked “what’s your pleasure.”

I had a launch party for my coaching business to honor all my good, hard work.  I invited friends, dressed up, had refreshments, and made a treasured memory.  Most importantly, I valued myself- my gifts and strengths.
The best part is since then, I’ve encouraged everyone to celebrate the successes in their life.  Every time I hear a friend say they’ve finished their master’s degree, a renovation project, got a new job, or even finally cleaned out the garage- I ask, “How are you going to celebrate?”  No accomplishment is too small- it’s about marking the moment, pausing to reflect, and being grateful for the outcome.

Celebrating balances out those days where I’m in the rabbit hole excavating my mistakes. 

I’m still a good, humble, midwestern girl.  Acknowledging an accomplishment doesn’t take away from anyone else, in fact it encourages others to recognize their own worth.

I’ve learned a few things from my year of celebrating:

• Break it down.If it’s a long project, celebrate in milestones.You don’t have to wait till its all wrapped up.At the mid- point take a moment to look how far you’ve come, this well help fuel your resolve for the home stretch.

• Share you good news.I’d much rather hear about the how well things are going for my friends, then listen to a litany of the same complaints.Your excitement is contagious and will encourage others to dust off their dream and go for it.

• You don’t need to go all out- every time.A celebration can be simply a treat from your favorite bakery, seeing that movie you’re so excited about, getting a manicure, or even just a simple prayer of gratitude.Do what feels right for you.

• Allow yourself time to bask in the glory.Lean into the good feeling, that sense of invincibility that comes with achieving your goal.Try not to downplay how you feel, you’ve earned that glow- so wear it proudly.

• Celebrate others.When a friend shares her success, join in her happiness.Send a card, take her to coffee, and share her story with others.We gain inspiration from others- there’s a sense of if she can do it, so can I.

Every life needs a bit more of a party vibe.  So, come on, celebrate and have a good time.