How to turn your life into a Drama Free Zone

I live in a house with two teenage girls.

For some, this sentence would strike terror into their hearts, causing them to shake their head and mutter “poor thing” under their breath.

They’d assume my home’s filled with DRAMA. 

Door slamming, screaming matches, words shouted that can never be taken back, everyone tiptoeing around trying not to set off a hormone induced bomb.  You get the picture- typical teenage stuff, which unfortunately not everyone out grows.

This is NOT my home. 

This is NOT my reality.

When people complain, whine incessantly, and generally go on and on about drama in their lives, I simply have no clue.  I can sympathize, but not empathize.

And I’m not blowing smoke up your skirt, either.

You too can have a drama free life. 

You may be thinking that’s a bit of B.S., but it’s true, because you have the power to turn off the drama spigot and stop it from pouring into your life. 

First, you can control your reaction to others. 

You allow yourself to get sucked in.  Your emotions take over and the next thing you know your spewing ugly words or being invaded by nasty thoughts.  You fully engage in the drama, maybe even relishing the adrenalin hit that comes rushing into your blood.  Tit for tat, and baby -you can really give it back.

Stop. 

Before you lash back, take a breath and think.  Is it really worth it to do battle?  Do the words uttered by someone else truly diminish you or can you see that they’re lashing out because something’s broken within them and they don’t know how to fix it? 

Catch yourself before you engage in a no win situation.  Drama doesn’t crown a winner, but just creates a room full of losers.

Choose to let it go. 

Know that you’re valuable as you are and no one’s opinion or any circumstance will change that.  Do your best to shrug it off: walk away, don’t respond to the bait, or simply say “Sorry, you feel that way.”

Second, try to accept others for who they are.

Remember the Billy Joel song, Just the Way You Are?  Don’t go changing…to try to please me…I love you just the way you are.  If you want to be accepted for who you are, you need to do the same.  Ouch- this can be challenge.

When people don’t meet your expectations, guess what?  That’s your issue, not theirs.

THIS is why my home’s a drama free zone.

I accept my daughters for who they are PERIOD. 

I understand their strengths and their weaknesses and embrace ALL of it.  I don’t live vicariously through them.  Their success is theirs, and so are the mistakes. I treat them with respect and when I screw up, I own it- full apology.  I listen to them, fully present and without distraction.  And I learn from them daily.  Just last week, I was called to the carpet for making a judgement about someone and my a$$ was grass.  Instead of getting defensive, I owned my crap and apologized.

Acceptance is critical. 

It’s what every human longs for, to be welcomed and valued for who we are at our soul level.  When you understand why people are making choices, what has shaped them, and accept that this strongly impacts how they interact and react, then you can more easily not engage when your button is pushed.

Third, remember we’re all same and connected.

You and I are the same. 

Same organs, bones, and atoms make up our bodies.  We’re created by the same Source of Love.  We want the same things out of life: good health, loving relationships, shelter and food, the best for our families, a sense of purpose and a meaningful life.

We face the same adversities and fears. 

We share the same emotions-anger, jealously, hopelessness, joy, peace, love.  We all want to feel valued and loved.

When you can look at the source of your drama and see that person as yourself, then empathy can grow.  Deeper insights surface and you can understand how they feel, which can provide awareness into their behavior.  Through that compassion, you can treat them with kindness, or at the least a neutral attitude.

Getting into a screaming match with someone who you see through the eyes of Love- it’s not possible.
 
Drama fuels separation. 

It creates a rift between you and others that can do some serious emotional damage.  Caught up in drama’s energy leaves you feeling depleted, more vulnerable, and takes a physical toll on your body.  The time has come to be set free.

Take the first step and dump drama.  Don’t answer when it comes a knocking.
 
P.S.  Have a friend caught in the DRAMA vortex?  Share this blog and help her escape!