The rebirth of the "It Girl"

I was at breakfast the other morning with a dear friend.  This woman is fab-u-lous! She’s so pulled together that every time we get together I fall a bit more for her.  She’s very accomplished in her career, charismatic, and compassionate.  Truly, the best.

We were discussing the change that comes as women mature.  I’m not talking about how parts of us sag a bit more, or that we have more “laugh” lines, or whether fiber is a good idea. (it always is)

I’m referring to the death of being the “It Girl.”

You know what I mean? 

Younger me was hot.  I don’t mean that I was a solid 9 out of 10, but I was shiny and new: I was the chosen one.  The great projects at work were just given to me, I had mentors at every turn, people sought me out to be a part of their “new baby.” I was the hot commodity, and everyone wanted a piece.

And honestly- it felt great!  My self esteem was up there at the MC Hammer “you can’t touch this” ceiling.  It was a fast paced, never buy my own drink kind of world.

At some point it all shifted. 

My friend at breakfast talked about no longer being the “It Girl.”  She had shared her frustration with a mentor and received the most amazing gift: a shift in perspective. 

Although she may not be tapped for all the high profile projects, her counsel is sought at every turn.  People in her office, and in her life, seek advice about everything- life, work, and relationships.  She literally has a line up outside her office!

She’s become the Wise Woman.  A different type of “It Girl.”  A new role, with different rewards.

Change is inevitable.  How we respond to it, defines who we want to be in this world.

We can mourn the past.  But the loss of status, youth, or vitality doesn’t need to be the end.  It can be a new beginning.

So how do we embrace this new, sparkly and rather sage “It Girl?”

First, we recognize that we’ve changed. 

It’s inevitable.  The person we were 5, 10, 20 years ago is a part of us, but not the whole of us.  She’s in there- her experiences, knowledge, sass, and drive.  However, each day we grow due to new experiences.  That wisdom accumulates making us more and different. Instead of mourning the past, we incorporate the lessons helping us redefine the “It Girl.”

Second, we embrace our new status and rock it like nobody’s business. 

Look around and pay attention.  What are your friends, family, or co-workers asking of you?  In what ways are you sought out?  This is your new “It Girl” and it can be just as fulfilling as your past definition, maybe even more.

Finally, we don’t let anyone (ourselves included) diminish our new “It Girl” role.

When that project is assigned to the new rising star- we gently and with grace remind ourselves that we’re starring in a new role.  We lean into our gifts and share them, realizing that this is the best way to serve both ourselves and others. 

My friend loves her new Wise Woman role.  Each day she shares the lessons from her years of corporate experience, mentoring others, answering questions and providing guidance.  She’s leaving a legacy at her company, not related to all her accomplishments (which there are MANY), but by sharing her wisdom so that others can succeed.

P.S.  If you know of a friend struggling with the death of her "It Girl", please share this email with her.  It's not a permanent state, her "It Girl" rebirth is waiting!