What’s up with the word sacrifice that it causes us to immediately go to a dark and dismal place?

It doesn’t conjure up a bright meadow with pastel colored ponies prancing, but a dungeon with a cloaked priest ready to impale the vestal virgin. All gloom and doom, with a bit a misery thrown in to sweeten the pot.

As I thought about this a bit more, I decided to get my geek on and look up sacrifice in the dictionary.  My mom always told me to do this any time I had a question about a word, it gave her a reprieve from my many, many annoying word questions and taught me how to be a dictionary pro.  Plus, I built up some series muscles because our dictionary weighed about 5 pounds.

Sacrifice is the surrender of something for the sake of something else.

Well, that actually doesn’t sound too bad.  No blood bath involved, just a willingness to let go of something that’s not working for something better.

And holy crap, do I have a list of things to let go.  Some of which I’ve held on to for decades and I swear they’ve settled themselves into the tension in my neck and the small paunch of my belly.  I just knew there was a reason my jeans left a button imprint when I wear them.

Sacrifice can be healthy.

I never thought about it this way until Dr. Robert Holden penned these words in his weekly newsletter.  He was talking about Lent, the ritual of giving up something for the weeks proceeding Easter, and how most of us choose to sacrifice things we really don’t want to give up such as chocolate, alcohol, caffeine, etc.  He pointed out that most people fail at this commitment because they’re trying to give up something they really don’t want to and will just go back to eating or doing the day after Easter.

Instead, he suggests that Lent should be a time to look at what’s not working in your life.  And that to change your life, you have to be willing to sacrifice what isn’t working for something better.  I want better, don’t you?  Better sounds great, thrilling, and much more enticing than being stuck.

You don’t have to make this shift during Lent.  I haven’t observed the practice in decades and many people don’t, but the concept of sacrificing what’s not working for something better, that I can get behind.

Dr. Holden, goddess bless him, started a great list and I added to it.  It’s inspiring in it’s simplicity and you’ll find at least one that resonates.  You’ll hear the ding ding ding in your mind when you read it and your soul will shout,” that’s the one baby- time to dump that piece in the trash.”

Healthy Sacrifices

• Not trying to do my life all by myself

• Giving up on chronic busyness for true success

• Letting go of an old grievance

• Remove the word “should” from my vocabulary

• Release the need to please everyone

• Hand in my “Supermom” badge

• Stop depriving myself of my true needs

• Give up future happiness for happiness now

• Surrender on of my defenses for greater intimacy

• Stop waiting for the perfect person to arrive

• No more skipping my spiritual practice

• Stop trying to be normal (it doesn’t work anyway)

• Stop making excuses for not doing things I like

• No more overcommitting

• Shorten my To DO list each day

• Stop waiting for the perfect moment to begin

• Say No {not maybe} more often

• Procrastinate less, live more

• Stop wearing a mask and not showing my true self

• No more swallowing my truth and not speaking up

• Stop allowing others to influence my choices

• Quit measuring my worth against others

• Give up thinking my job or role defines me

• Stop feeling guilty for making time for myself

A bit of honesty here.  I could sacrifice everything on the above list, because at one time or another I’ve carried every item around with me. What about you?

What I love about framing sacrifice in this way, is that it doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing something or lacking in any way.  You can happily keep your decadent chocolate lava cake, your smooth mojito or bullet proof coffee and choose to sacrifice something that will improve your life. 

Change becomes less scary. You’re simply exchanging what isn’t working in your life for something better. A substitution of sorts, like hazelnut creamer versus vanilla in your coffee. A change- simply because you’ve evolved, your taste has changed, and you’re so over hazelnut. 

Life is like that, with each experience shaping who you are and over time you evolve and grow.  And with growth comes the need to let go and shed what’s no longer working and choose something that’s better.

So today, choose your something better.  Sacrifice what’s not working and embrace what’s next for you. 

Oh look- I see a meadow with a lavender pony on the horizon.