“She really shouldn’t wear those jeans; they make her thighs look huge.”
“I don’t know who she thinks she is, but…”
“Have you ever seen a worst haircut? Brillo pad doesn’t do it justice.”
“Why does she even try? No one likes her.”
“She could lose a few.”
“I heard she’s dating.  Wonder what type of bowser she’ll attract.”
“Why does she bother.  She’ll just fail.”

Ouch! 

If you’re like me these are either fighting words or lock yourself in the closet and indulge in some ugly crying words.  

Hearing these words, you’d react.  There'd be a head bitten off, tears streaming, a numbing fear- any of these emotions would erupt.  No matter what your reaction, you’d be triggered- there would be an emotional tsunami.

Now imagine how you’d feel if you heard these words every day, hundred times a day?

Would you continue to be triggered, rising to defend yourself or shuffling off to nurse the hurt?  Or would you become numb to them?  A bit brainwashed, and gradually you’d accept them and then not even notice them, as the tumble freely in your psyche, little whirling dervishes of destruction.

You wouldn’t accept this kind of talk from a friend (or even a stranger).  Then why do we accept it from ourselves?

These hurtful words are brought to you by Kirstin’s own mind.  Just substitute the word you for she, and you can hear the constant strum of my thoughts.

Ugly, right?

It’s no wonder that when we try to make a change, chase a dream, or live a more beautiful life, we fall short.  Our inner cheerleader is a real Debbie downer and with that kind of support, why even try? Because if you don’t try, how will you ever know?  How will you know what your life could be- all the glorious possibilities that are just waiting to be discovered?

Playing safe gets you... unfulfilled.  It keeps you wondering if there’s a truer, more beautiful life waiting for you.  Living in the shallow end, scared to even move, is a limited life.

Try this instead.

Take one thing in your life you want to shift and breathe into it. Allow yourself to imagine the possibility, to dream about what life would be like if you made the change.  Because if you can imagine it- you can’t unimagine it. By just bringing a little attention to it, you’ve given it a spark, which with additional attention will grow into a fire that will burn away your doubts and shut down that damn negative voice that’s feeding you a load of crap.

You have an imagination, it may have been on a vacation since childhood, but it’s time to call it home and set it to work.

First imagine one little change you’d like to make.  Give it birth by writing it onto a sticky note or in a journal.  Next take five minutes and just imagine how your life would look and feel once you’ve made the change.  Finally, when the voice in your head pipes up and says, “It’ll never happen.  You don’t got what it takes,” shut it down.  As soon as you hear that whiney little pipsqueak, say to yourself, “I’m ready to take the next step towards…  (a new job, a healthier body, your dream vacay, changing a relationship, etc.)”

Now rinse and repeat.

For the next 30 days, give the change you want to make a little attention, make it your favorite child by nurturing it, spoiling it rotten, and giving it unconditional love.

This is important.

Why? Because what you think creates a feeling in your body.  These feelings they grow up and become your reality, the life you are living.

Start treating yourself like your best friend.  Shut down the negative chatter by becoming aware of it and then replacing it with more loving thoughts, dreams, and beliefs.  Give loving attention to your dreams by taking time to imagine the possibilities, and the shift you want…it will happen.