How to stop you being too hard on yourself?

Confession time.

I’m a world class procrastinator.  I can put off doing any task, big or small, with the simple sentence “I’ll get to that next.”  The thing about next- it never comes- allowing me to hide away from my own accountability.

The new year began with hopes, goals, dreams and a heaping helping of determination.  I was pumped up on the ‘get it done’ steroid of life.  So confident that this time it would different- I’d overcome my own hangry gremlins and burst forth into the year on wings.

It lasted…all of 5 days.  I’m not proud of my collapse of will power, but I’m understanding my own self imposed limits, because that’s what they are, limits that I’ve welcomed in and made cozy on the sofa of my psyche-complete with the cushy pillow and fringed throw.

Why did I fail so quickly and why wasn’t I surprised?

Because I keep doing the same thing over and over, hoping the results will be different but knowing deep down they won’t.  And then when I fail, I simply shrug and accept the inevitable.  Sound familiar?  Are you with me on this? 

I’m holding myself back.  Keeping me stuck in a place that has little appeal and I’m more than a bit sick of seeing – day in and day out.  But how to move forward?

You’d think I’d be smarter than this, but we all have blind spots in our lives.  Places we know exist but choose to ignore.  My endless list of goals and actions is the dark pit of self recrimination and it’s time for it to go.

I’ve been depending so much on myself to get it all done that I’ve left no room for Divine intervention-literally!  No space to allow for guidance to gently nudge (or more accurately push me) in the correct direction.  I’ve held so tight to how I think life should go- that I’ve strangled it to a limp noodle.

It’s not really procrastination- it’s a hesitation. 

I have a great idea and instead of jumping all over it and breathing life into it- I play with it a bit and then hide it in the corner.  Doubts plague me.  What if no one comes to that class, no one wants to be coached, my new course bombs or I get zero likes?  Instead of having faith and taking the chance, I hide the idea under my metaphorical bed, and it withers to a dust bunny.

Here’s the rub.

If I act, I feel energized- no matter the outcome.  I feel good that I followed up on an inspiration, trusted myself, took a chance and if it flopped- learned something.  I get more ideas, more energy and more success.  It’s moving past my hesitancy that’s the pivotal step.

I’ve found a nifty shortcut.

A new year’s more than once chance, but 365 new days.  Each one a new opportunity to move forward and away from what holds you back.  Each opens the door to make a new choice, begin again.  Doesn’t the saying go “Life is about the journey, not the destination”?

This year, I’m making a new choice.  Each time I feel myself close in and hesitate, I say a simple prayer.  One that offers both trust and surrender, allowing for the Divine to guide me. 

Thank you for showing me how to move through my hesitation.

It’s both a cry for help and an expression of gratitude.  It opens all sorts of possibilities and loosens my strangle hold on the outcome. It’s a blessing and every time I utter the words my body floods with warmth and my shoulder drop from my ears.  And if I screw up?  I simple start again- nothing is mastered in one take.

Try it for yourself.  What’s holding you back?  What’s stopping you from having the life you want?  You can use a variation on the above prayer:

Thank you for showing me how to…love myself, accept my worth, embrace new love, lose the weigh, quit the addiction, find a better job for my skills, be more patient, etc.

Its easy, effective, and powerful.  Join me and kick whatever’s holding you back to the curb.