How to stop holding onto other people's crap
It’s funny how your brain works.
The weird little connections that happen in your thoughts. One moment your thinking about toast, the next bread crumbs which leads to thoughts about spicy, hot meatballs, which in turn reminds you of your favorite Italian place and then ouch…that horrible date where you spilt all that wine on the waiter while you were gesturing wildly with your hands.
Or maybe it’s just my brain?
As I bent down to scoop up Perri’s latest deposit into a baggie, I thought about how much time I spend carrying a baggie of poo around. Hmmm. Twice a day times over 300 days a year. Yikes! That’s a lot of baggies.
From there my little brain thought about how much time I spend carrying around other people’s little baggies. You know- their unsolicited opinions, negativity, drama. Literally all their crap that I so willingly accept by listening to the gossip, getting caught up in the heat of an argument, and internalizing the sting of their criticism. OMG- I’m hauling more baggies around then I ever imagined, and I can’t even guess the stench or imprint it’s making on my soul.
Why am I allowing myself to be the depository for other people baggies?
Good question.
By nature, I want everyone to be happy, bouncing through life. I try not rock the boat or make myself a target for their disapproval, anger or jealousy. Which by the way is a sucky plan and one I’ve discovered has caused me personal pain. By not speaking my truth, I’m silencing my voice, diminishing my worth, and most importantly not shining my light.
So, dumping those baggies has become a mission for me. I don’t need to be weighed down by other peoples…you fill in the best euphemism for baggie.
Time to dump the baggies.
The first step to getting rid of other people’s baggies is to not pick them up in the first place! Seems like a no brainer, but you don’t always know when you’ve habitually pick one up. Take an inventory of the people in your life and quickly identify those that use you as a dumping ground, their presence in your life leaves you feeling a bit dull, not shiny. If you can limit your contact with them, do it. If not, then practice awareness.
Become aware of when you get sucked into their issues or when you feel yourself absorbing their negativity. Simply think-here I am getting sucked in and then pivot your thought and deflect their issue. In your mind think “this is not my problem, not my monkey, not my circus, not my drama…” and then change the subject, get up go to the bathroom, or if necessary, simply leave.
The sooner you recognized that you’re being swept up into the fray, the more quickly you can get yourself out of it. It’s all about being awareness and recovery time. The less time you spend with the baggies, the less you’ll absorb of the stink.
After your awareness has kicked in, try not to judge yourself. The goal is to move away from the drama and negativity and if your beating yourself up over it, you’re just perpetuating the drama. Let it go. Be detached. Simply observe what happened and thank yourself for having the presence of mind to get out of it,
Next find a mantra or affirmation that helps you return to your own light and energy. It could be “I’m worthy of more” or I’m centered in love” or “I’m living my truth.” By replacing the crazy, dark energy with light- you shift and can easily chuck those baggies into the nearest trash bin.
Keep returning to your mantra every time your awareness pings and says, “oops baggie alert!”
It’s a practice, a retraining of your brain, the way you take in information and process it. Instead of internalizing another’s gunk, you let it flow through you. Leaving you baggie free.
I’ll continue to carry a baggie every day, but it’ll only be because I’m a responsible dog owner. From now on other people are welcome to pick up after themselves.