Multi-tasking steals your time

The other day I was on the phone with my mom.  I love visiting with her and am so grateful she's a part of my life.  As we chatted, I unloaded the dishwasher, folded some laundry, took out garbage, and crossed a number of items off my to do list. 

I was kicking it- productive- on top of it!  A total wonder woman.

After telling mom I loved her, I hung up. Then it hit me...I couldn't recall 50% of what my mom shared with me.

OMG- I'm a thief!  I stole from both my mom and myself.  By not giving her my undivided attention, I stole valuable time together from each of us.  By not being fully present with my energy, I essentially told her that she wasn't important to me. 

People can tell when you're not focused on them.  Ever have a conversation when someone answers you with a lot of um..hmmms, u-huhs and other throaty little sounds?  Doesn't feel so hot, does it?

As women, we pride ourselves on being multi-taskers.  Able to work on many project simultaneously and tackle a mountain of chores.  It's a badge of honor to check things off our lists and recite the litany of things we got done in a day.

But at what cost?

I've realized a few things after my call with my mom.

First, that doing more isn't better.  Especially if the quality of the experience suffers.  This holds true for time with family and friends.  Being present is a gift that gives both ways.  When we can turn off our mental to do list and focus on the person we're with, the experience becomes richer.  We truly see each other, connect at an energetic level.  Plus we get a much needed break from the stress of everyday life.

Second, that trying to do two things at once results in lower quality work and lower productivity.  We tend to get distracted by whatever shiny object's in front of us at the moment.  How many times has the ping of your phone or email distracted you?  It takes longer to complete two tasks if we work a little here, lose our focus, and then work over there. 

Third, we miss the journey.  By focusing on the outcomes, we completely miss the individual moments.  Mindfulness.  Being aware and present in each and every moment. 

Instead of running through the grocery list while walking your dog, become aware of the wind rustling the leaves or the warmth of the sun on your face.  When your child asks you a question, stop what you're doing and give them your undivided attention.  They'll feel special, the conversation will be shorter and there won't be a misunderstanding about what was said!

The benefits of being present are huge.

• You'll discover a deeper connection to the people around you. 
• You'll be less stressed because instead of feeling frazzled, you'll easily accomplish tasks- one at a time, quicker and with greater ease.
• You'll realize that there is actually time to get it all done, and what doesn't, just may be unimportant to begin with. 
• You'll gain appreciation for your life and it's experiences.

I've decided to stop stealing from myself.  Lasting change begins with first steps. Mine are to be more mindful and in the moment.  Starting with a do over conversation with my mom.

Originally Published 6-6-2018