9 questions to ask when you feel stuck
Ever wake up and not recognize the life you're living? A sinking feeling that you can only call being stuck? It's like there are too many directions and none of them appeals. You're uncertain what path to take or even if you should hop on any path.
The symptoms are confusion and a deep knowing. That sense that something isn't right, but you're uncertain what's next for you. It could be that a long term relationship just feels off or your job has become soul sucking. Whatever it is- that stuck feeling greets your every morning and stays with you through the night.
I get it. I've been there - twice! It's a knowing that you need something to change and the sooner the better. For me it happen the first time during my marriage of over 20 plus years. Believe me that's a wake up call, when you discover that you just want to escape, but feel like your feet are glued to the floor. The second time was a few years ago when I realized my career of 20 plus years (I'm seeing a pattern in my timing) was no longer satisfying and didn't fulfill me on a spiritual level.
I suffered for years. Until the stuck feeling literally over powered me and I had to address it. No longer was the feeling satisfied being swept under the rug- it just kept growing and getting more persistent. Hmmm....that happens every time I try to ignore or stuff down an emotion.
When I finally decided to take action, I started a journal. I've always organized my thoughts better when I write them down. It gives me the opportunity to reflect, analyze, or even add doodles. (As an artist- I find doodles to be revealing of my mood) When I try to just "think" and process, I usually end up going over my grocery list.
I organized my reflection on being stuck by asking and answering a few pointed questions. I was honest with myself- that's the only way I can change and grow. Hiding behind the mask wasn't going to launch me out of the mud and being critical of myself would only keep me stuck in place.
If you're in that place and want to gain some momentum, take the time to answer all or at least a few of these questions. Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. But most importantly, honor yourself for taking action to make change.
- What has brought me to this place?
- What lesson am I to learn from this situation?
- Why am I focusing on this now? What has changed in my life to bring this to my attention?
- What do I want to be different?
- How do I want to feel instead?
- If I was unstuck (made a change) how would my life be different?
- If I chose to stay stuck- what will my life be like?
- What action can I take today that will make me feel inspired?
- Who can I go to for support and understanding?
Any type of lasting change is rooted in a commitment to feeling different. Letting go of all that doesn't serve you. Finding the people and experiences that help you maintain the feeling you want is part of your path.
Yes- getting unstuck may mean leaving behind a person or a job. Letting go is part of becoming unstuck. For me the ultimate question is "Do I feel strong, happy, and ready to conquer whatever is next?" If not, I know I need to go back to my journal and dig a bit deeper.
So what's keeping you from growing into your best self?
We all have experiences and people we outgrow- that's natural, part of our journey. It's our choice to embrace change, get ourselves unstuck and move forward. It's also our choice to stay where we are and feel stagnated. Which choice will you make?
Originally Published 5-23-2018