2 Steps to Getting Out of Your Own Way

I woke up both pissed and amused.

My dream was so vivid. 

I had gone to a salon for a free color treatment (this part made me giddy).  I was pampered with a head massage, with a shampoo that smelled like jasmine.  You know the kind, with the strong fingers, that makes you melt and utter a slightly embarrassing moan?

I felt relaxed, spoiled, and utterly happy. 

Until I looked in the mirror. OMG- I was a brunette. Shiny auburn highlights danced as my hair swished.  I was a L’oreal commercial and I was pissed. 

For two years I’ve been lightening my hair from that rich brown to a blonde.  My goal, to eventually stop coloring and embrace my natural color.  In my dream, which was actually a nightmare, this freebie set me back over two years plus the cost of “fixing it.”

As I laid in bed, I thought about why I was so mad about this dream.  Perri snuggled up next to me, insisting on a belly rub, and I obliged as I silently fumed.

The “a-ha” hit like a punch in the gut.

I’ve this underlying belief, really an obstacle, that was playing out while I slept.  I believe I won’t reach my goals, that something will always set me back to the beginning.  I’ll never get to where I want to be, success is out of reach.

Snuggling deeper into my soft purple sheets, I realized the greatest obstacle to fulfilling my dream…is me.

Take the dream.  I was so excited about the freebie, the shiny object, that I didn’t ask any questions about how it would affect me, nor did I state what I wanted.  I let someone else take charge and do what they wanted.

Ugh…why are dreams so complicated!

This plays out in my life daily.

I let days go by filled with good intentions.  Letting others influence my choices in a way that distracts me from hearing my own voice.  I get lulled into a comfortable life, without acknowledging that comfortable, is another word for stuck.

I am the biggest obstacle to my success. 

What an eye-popping, mind blowing thought! 

I keep myself small, because the thought of playing in a bigger league’s terrifying.  All those self-doubts fly in: what if I fail? what if no one buys my art, coaching, or class? what if I go to all the effort and nothing changes?

It’s better to stay put – I know what to expect and can easily manage it. 

The truth is that being stuck sucks.

It’s not the place I want to be, nor the person I’m capable of being.

Still in bed (I do my best thinking here).  Slightly stinky puppy breath is filling my nose, as Perri stares at me.  I bet she’s thinking “come on mom, have an epiphany so I can go outside”.

Change requires courage. 

The thing about courage is that it doesn’t exist without fear.  One thing I know about fear is that there’s a flip side- possibilities.  Fearing the unknown is irrational, since you’re frightened about something that may, or 99% of the time, may not happen.  Knowing this doesn’t make the fear less real, it simply gives me the edge to look at the possibilities.

I know me.  Success doesn’t occur in giant leaps. 

I’m an incremental change type of gal.

So how do I move forward knowing that I’m the one standing in my way?

Two words: faith and action.

Faith that I know what’s best for me.  Faith that if I take a leap, let go of the outcome, and trust that all will work out as it should…that it will.  My entire life, I’ve been supported through my faith.  Yes, there have been struggles, but that’s on me for not having faith.  When I let go and trust that I’ll be given the resources I need, it works out.  Every. Time.

Action, any step forward, means that I’m gaining momentum.  Each day I give myself permission to focus only on the next small step that’ll manifest my dream.  Not the whole enchilada, just the next ingredient in the recipe.

I choose to begin. 
I choose to show up. 
I choose to do my very best each day. 

Some days I’ll rock it and others, not so much.  Regardless, I choose to move forward.

My biggest obstacle is me. 

This means I have the power to remove my greatest obstacle. If I choose to get out of my own way, I embrace the wide, wonderful unknown and make it mine.

I’m breaking down the walls that are keeping me small.  I’m starting today, by writing this blog.  A simple step towards my dream, but one that makes me feel a bit freer.

Oh…and the good news. 

Brushing my teeth this morning, I admired my bouncy, shiny, blonde hair.  A reminder that if I take it one day at a time, I’ll achieve my goal. I can’t wait to look in the mirror and say “hello gorgeous” as I’m loving my luxurious silver hair.

P.S.  Is that gremlin in your head messing with your dream? Share with me one step your taking to shut that voice down and move forward!  Comment below